For me, I find it hard to comprehend how widespread and pervasive these issues have become for such young people. And yet, as I walk down the halls of the middle class private school where I spend so many hours a day, I can see that these issues are robbing kids of their joy and hope and enthusiasm and, dare I say, their childhood. Our school has policies that limit phone usage, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, the phone, earbuds and complete absorption begins. Some kids faces that can't quite hide their distress really touch my heart. I want them to feel connected, included, welcomed and loved. I want them to know that depression is a liar and will steal their years if they let it. I want them to know that we are here to listen and to care. In fact every one of the problems on the list could be cured with love, acceptance and guidance from adults.
How do we nurture the disconnected? Can we as teachers bring them into the fold of the school community? Can we provide hope that they will someday succeed if they just work hard? Can we remind them that bullying robs both the bully and the victim of their self respect? Can we inspire them to look up from their screens?
I contend we can. Today, I had a class full of students who feel like math is their nemesis. They have always struggled in math. They don't like it. They can't get it. You know all the things they say and believe about themselves. This class meets directly after lunch. They know they are on the lower academic track. They know that they can't do Geometry because they certainly can't understand it. This is day seven of school for me. Yes, we had to slow the pace from aggressive to slow for this group. However, I tell them every day that they can turn the tide and make math their friend. They can learn to get along with math. We just have to work hard and to keep trying. Then I said something like, "I've been watching you work in this class all week. I am 100% confident that you will do well in this class and you can learn Geometry. I believe in your ability to work hard. You have what it takes to become the master of Geometry rather than it becoming your master. I know some of you are skeptical, but when we get to the end of the year, you will see, and I will say 'I told you so'. Today is our first quiz. You are ready. You can do this. I'm holding in my hands your first A, your first big success of this school year. And if you don't succeed the way you want this time, we will keep working until you do. I know that you can do it. I am committed to your future. You will have no limits because of math. " I could see the doubt and the hope and the fear and the desire on their faces. In fact, I could even say I saw some hope.
I love the Scripture that reminds us that "perfect love casts out fear." My thinking is that love and determination in a classroom can cast out one of the ten things---academic problems. Some kids have the opposite problem--fear of being unacceptable to a good college. That's not the group of today's class. They fear failure, rejection, disappointment. As they left my class, I asked each one of them how they felt about the quiz. A couple felt shaky, but most felt like they had succeeded. As I graded the quizzes after school, most of them had good reason to feel successful. One girl, one who worries me, told me she thought she had gotten her first 100% in math ever, and that she really understands what we have done thus far. She was right. I can't wait to rejoice with her tomorrow.
Can we give hope? I can because I believe everyone can and should learn. I can because I've seen love and encouragement make up the deficits brought by failure and discouragement. I can because I know the power of an adult believing in someone who feels like they are not noticed by anyone. I realize I cannot personally make a difference in the lives of every single student in my school. However, the cumulative effect of the entire staff working to love and bless their students can get every student. If we try. If we try together. If we have hope ourselves.
How about your school? What can you do? Just love, encourage, listen, and give them hope. Everything on the problem list involves people with no hope.
I wish for you faith, hope and love.
First published 8/21/18
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