Little Middle School Student was on a family vacation and missed an assignment. He didn't turn it in upon his return. I hounded him for it. He couldn't find it. His mom emailed me about the following:
Did I double check and see if I had it?
She saw him do it, and she knows he turned it in.
Am I sure it is missing?
She is frustrated, and would I give him time to redo it.
Would I look again.
Did I have pages thus and so from the other subject area?
Can I copy the missing workbook pages...for a second time? (Yes, my school uses workbooks/work texts in concert with other items.)
Can he have more time to do it?
And so on.
I assisted him and found several missing items, one of which was the lesson for which we sought. It was half done. He told me that he had completed the work, but couldn't find it. I replied, "I'm sorry, but if we don't find it, you'll need to finish this one." I wrote mom a note in his agenda with the copied workbook pages.
I'm done. Yay me! I've done my good deed by accepting this late work beyond the deadline in the interest of this student's learning. I've gone the extra mile to provide extra copies of the work. I answered every email politely.
Much later in the day, I am going through the items that have no headings or names to discern what they might be and to whom they might belong. Lo, and behold, behind some other papers, stapled to something that did have a heading was the missing lesson. (Mom stapled them together so he couldn't lose them, evidently. However, they were stapled in a way that made them appear to be one lesson.)
I wrote mom a note in the planner stating we had resolved the mystery.
Tonight, I get another email. "I hate to be a pain in the neck, but I know he did that". You get the idea.
Of course, I want to just scream, "No good deed will go unpunished", but I write back politely explaining that I sent a note, and here is the status of the paper. Also, I sent a reminder about how we are trying to teach our students to be self-reliant and independent learners who chart their own successes. That reminder was in two separate emails in hope that the message will penetrate the minds.
Why do I share such trivialities? Well, I want to let you know that many of us have encounters like this all day long and we may not be realizing the toll it can take on us. I am glad that I have learned to obscure my eye rolling, because today was definitely an opportunity to roll the eyes.
When dealing with the over-communicative, overreaching, over involved parent, you need this song! (Hey, anytime we can include Michael Buble, it is a win in my book!)
Have yourself a merry little email
Mom took time to write
From last week, his papers have been out of sight
Have yourself a merry little email
Mom had more to say
From now on, your inbox will be filled all day
Here were are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
WiFi down it appears to us
Teachers unplugged it once more
Through this year we all will be together
Through email that's how
Your papers will get to me I guess somehow
And have yourself a merry little email now
Here we are writing moms all day
Who have yet to say, Well sure
Our child who is dear to us
Needs to act his age, not four
Honestly, we just need to keep our heads about us. Keep your standards for student independence and don't get worn down by the 18 emails from a parent who is clearly trying to pave the way for her child instead of allowing him to learn to chart his own course.
Oh, and for the record, I did not unplug the wifi at my school. I just thought about it. :)
Have yourself a Merry Little Tomorrow!
First published December 5, 2017
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